


fight or flight.

by beatrixfranklin



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, F/M, kinda soft but pretty angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatrixfranklin/pseuds/beatrixfranklin
Summary: valerie is reminded of her past in the most unlikely place, trixie is grappling with a lot and love finds its way.
Relationships: Valerie Dyer/Trixie Franklin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. flashbacks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> valerie is reminded of her past in the most unexpected place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw/ ptsd, anxiety attacks, mention of war.

"I want my mummy."

The small call came from a little boy, no more than five or six, from outside the room. A sweet, innocent little voice. 

"In a moment, sweetie. You can come in and see your new baby sister, too!" replied Trixie, taking the mothers blood pressure, a menial task as always. She had a reassuring tone and kind eyes, smiling up at the woman she was tending to, returning to chatter as she went about her duty.

Valerie was at the side of the room, giving the newly born little girl a once over before handing her back to her mother. She had a way with babies, tickling her and distracting her as she did routine checks, smiling down at the tiny little bundle.

Suddenly, she found herself caught unawares, as though someone had punched her full force in the stomach, winding her. Her chest was tightening, the white surgical gown suddenly four sizes smaller than it should be, her cap holding her in too tight. 

Instead of a little boy innocently calling for his mum, probably curious about the nights dinner, Val heard a 16 year old boy, fatally wounded on the battlefield and calling for the one person he truly needed for comfort as day turned to night and light turned to dark.

She couldn't breathe. Her hands trembled and she hastily placed baby back into her mothers arms, fearing the worst with the way she shook. 

"Valerie, sweetie?" Trixie looked up to her colleague, bright blue eyes full of concern at the brunettes apparent and sudden panic. 

"I need some air." The comment was rushed, forced out with the little oxygen Val could get into her lungs. Trembling more and more, she ripped off the white garments, leaving them on the bed behind her and leaving the room in a hurry. She was almost certain she had taken the stairs two at a time, struggling with the lock on the front door as she entered the cool air of the street.

She took a deep breath, gasping and struggled, her mind whirring and loud.

Once outside, Val found her legs could no longer support her weight, sliding against the wall and pressing the palms of her hands to her eyes. All of a sudden she found herself in darkness, figures, faces and memories flitting beneath her eyelids. 

For all she could stop bleeding from a gunshot wound, or diagnose postnatal eclampsia in a heartbeat, when it came to her and her wartorn episodes she was helpless. A deer in headlights. Her eye caught the phone booth, sparking the thought that she had left Trixie alone inside. What if something happened? 

Pull yourself together, Val.

The last thing you need is more blood on your hands.

Clumsily, she slotted coins into the slot, being connected to Nonnatus.

"Nonnatus House, midwife speaking." 

"It's me, Val. We need someone else to take over with Mrs Grove." Val choked the words out, the best she could on laboured breath. The older nurse began, although not knowing where to, given Valerie's clear distress. She was cut off by Val citing the address before she hastily placed the phone back into its hold, knowing Phyllis would be on her way. 

Val left the phone booth, not expecting a familiar figure to be stood outside it. The blonde approached Val cautiously, making a point not to touch her in any way. This proved futile, as Val couldn't help but to throw herself into Trixie's arms. It was later on, the streets were empty save for the occasional car or bike. Slowly, with Trixie's arms wrapped around her shaking frame, Val began to feel safe. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened, sweetie?" Trixie asked softly, causing Val's tears to stream again. Trixie already had an inkling, knowing the little boys choice of words was all too familiar to her trembling friend. The blonde knew little about Val's past, especially her army days, but little anecdotes stuck, the dying young soldier being one that repeated in her head quite often. 

"Is Mrs Grove okay? Baby?" Val asked hurriedly, panic shrouding her brain completely.

"They're fine, Val." Trixie answered. She had little experience with anxiety outside of her own, but knew PTSD like the back of her hand, although all she knew of it was the loud, angry type. Seeing Val as a shell of the brash, confident Cockney was startling.

"You're safe, Val. You're with me, we're in Poplar. Nobody wants to hurt you. Nobody's hurt. I promise." 

The rumbling of an engine behind them sent Val into a sense of fight or flight again. She softened hearing Trixie speak to the figure, although it was muffled over the racket of her mind. 

"I'm so sorry." Val choked out, muffled by Trixie's cardigan. Her war days didn't often repeat on her, but when they did it was brutal and it ripped out every stitch she was working on adding to the deep wound. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me?" Trixie replied back, holding Val tighter, rubbing the shaking womans back in an act of comfort. 

Slowly, the brunette began to soften, trembling less. Trixie unwrapped her arms, just for a moment, taking her shaking, clammy hand to lead her to a bench and sitting them both down.

Trixie pulled out her ornate cigarette tin wordlessly, handing one to Val. The blonde found Val's demeanor made it impossible for her to light it, gently taking the lighter and doing it for her. Still in tears, though calming as the minutes passed, she lay her head on Trixie's shoulder, feeling as though it were made of lead and full of bricks. Trixie wrapped an arm around her friends shaking shoulders.

"I know it's scary. I don't blame you, at all. You can't help it, I know." Trixie said, softly moving Val's fringe out of her sodden eyes.

"You're safe. You always will be." 

Val jumped a little as she heard a front door close and felt a figure take a seat on the bench at the her other side. Turning slightly, straightening her posture, she saw the kind eyes of another brunette midwife looking into her own. 

Lucille's face was a mixture of concern, relief and pain. She wrapped an arm around Val, not caring about the cigarette smoke as she normally did. The scent of Lucille's soap, mixing with perfume and her own smoke made Val feel peaceful as she took her cardigan sleeve, wiping at her red raw eyes. 

"Phyllis brought me along for backup, but mother and baby are well and Trixie had it all handled, so I guess I wasn't needed on either front." Lucille smiled across at Trixie, taking Val's cold hand in her own.

"I'm glad you came anyway." Uttered the brunette, squeezing the womans small warm hand in her own. The three sat for a moment, Val's panic subsiding in the comfort. She really was safe.


	2. the plan.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> valerie has a plan.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Trixie asked softly, handing Val a mug of steaming hot tea. The brunette shrugged, not meeting Trixie's eyes.

"Some things are better left unsaid." The other woman said quietly, taking a drawn out drag on her cigarette.

"Not everything, though. Not if it bothers you." came the reply, a look of concern on the blondes face. Val looked up at that, meeting her eyes at last. She shrugged again, nonchalantly. In the dim lamp light, Trixie could tell that Val's eyes were filling with tears. 

"All I could think about was the army. A little boy, crying out for his mother." Val said after a short silence. Pausing again, she shook her head.

"Stupid really."

Trixie, upon hearing Val say that, crossed the gap between their two beds, sitting on the end of Val's. Gently and somewhat hesitantly, she placed a hand on Val's knee.

"I won't allow that, Valerie, and you know that." The blondes tone was firm, but kind. Val locked eyes with her, tears forming in her own.

"This isn't your fault. You saw some ghastly things out there, I'm not surprised they won't leave." Trixie's words broke Val, previously repressed tears falling thick and fast. She hastily wiped them away with her cardigan sleeve, not caring for the bad habit. 

"They just come back at such strange times, Trix." Val said, a hopeless tone to her voice that Trixie wasn't used to.

"I think you should speak to Dr Turner. He knows what it's like, and he could get-" Trixie trailed off, seeing the wide eyed look on her friends face. Blue met blue as Trixie looked deep into wide eyes, filled with fear. 

"No. Not a chance. They'll cart me off somewhere." Val turned, breaking the eye contact as she stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray beside her, somewhat aggressively.

Val's word choice had come from a place of fear, Trixie knew that. But it set her mind spiralling, thinking of the first friend she really had there in Poplar. The sweet, quiet brunette, with the kindest eyes and a heart to match. 

The way her innocent naivety was replaced by harsh reality, the way she flinched at quick movements and raised voices. The way she rotted at Linchmere for months, being prodded and poked, all while Trixie flirted and smoked and laughed as though she wasn't gone. The blonde shook her head, standing and returning to her own bed, sinking into the mattress as she sat. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean anything." Val said meekly. God, Trixie really wasn't used to this Val.

"I know, sweetie." came her reply as she smiled at the brunette. 

"I wish it wasn't like that." Val said, sadly, suddenly sitting more upright.

"What do you mean?" Trixie asked, a Sobranie hanging from her lips, caught in the act of lighting it.

"There shouldn't be so much negativity around this stuff. People should be able to just talk about it, and it be normal." Val had a fire about her at once, clearly plotting. Trixie knew her plan making face a mile off, and here it was in full swing.

"You mean like a support group?" She asked, shuddering somewhat. As much as AA was a cornerstone, it couldn't half be ghastly.

"I suppose. Or just a one off, where people learn about stuff and are told that it's okay to not feel great all the time." Val answered, a twinkle in her eye that Trixie had missed all day.

"Bring it up with Sister Julienne, you never know." Trixie replied, blowing smoke as she spoke. Slowly but surely, her friend was coming back into herself after the episode earlier. Trixie loved it.

××××××××××××××××××××××××

"It's okay to not be okay?" Sister Julienne read the mockup of the flyer, brows knitting together. Val smiled at her from the other side of the desk, nodding.

"Yes, that's the general idea, Sister." the brunette midwife responded, taking the flyer back from the Sister.

"My concern, Nurse Dyer, is that it will take time from more pressing matters." the tone from the nun was gentle, but firm, as it usually was.

"Of course not, Sister. One afternoon out of the week, and it's a one off." Val defended her cause, using a soft tone around the Sister, as she often did. Her manner was bold and confident and she worried about causing offence. 

"If you and Nurse Franklin are available to run the talk, I don't see any issue, as long as it is certain that you will not be distracted from matters of urgency." The nun nodded, looking at Val with kind, sparkling eyes. 

"Definitely not. Thank you, Sister." Val said, rising from her chair.

"Nurse Dyer." said the Sister suddenly, prompting Val to freeze.

"I was wondering if you wanted to discuss the events of yesterday. I understand there was a mishap at the Grove delivery?" The sisters tone was gentle, warm even, and it took a lot of Val's strength to hold onto tears.

"Everything's fine now, Sister. No need to worry." Val smiled, turning to leave. Sister Julienne nodded, watching Val go, with sadness lingering in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to ffion xox


	3. venting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letting go of a burden helps one young midwife.

Val stood at the front of the hall, eyes scanning the chairs laid out before her. She ran her hands over her starched blue uniform skirt for perhaps the hundredth time that morning, smoothing out creases that just didn't exist. 

Trixie returned from the kitchen, placing a plate of bourbon biscuits on a table set off to the side, before crossing the room to stand beside a nervous Val. The blonde gently took the other womans hand, squeezing it lightly as a supportive gesture.

"Everything's going to be fine, sweetie. This is a good thing." Trixie's wide, blue eyes were kind and reassuring and Val couldn't help but to nod and smile back.

Their pep talk was suddenly halted by the opening of the hall's door. Trixie dropped Val's hand, turning to face the incoming audience, smoothing her own skirt down just as Val had. 

"Nobody can resist the pretty midwives, eh?" Val joked, nudging Trixie with her elbow as they watched people enter, taking their seats and chatting.

"You've got that bit all handled yourself, Dyer." Trixie replied, smiling at a woman who said good afternoon to the pair before sitting down.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Val said, authoritatively, causing the noise of the crowd to fade.

"Nurse Franklin and I are here today to talk about something you might not have spoken about before." Val nodded, coming to the end of her sentence and looking to Trixie.

"Now, ladies, as nurses, we know that it's important to keep in ship shape physically. But sometimes, we might find ourselves under the weather in a different way." Trixie was light and airy as she spoke, clearly entrancing everybody in front of her. 

"For those of you expecting, I'm sure your hormones give you a ghastly old time of it, but even when you're not, its quite normal for our brains to get a bit mixed up sometimes." 

Val hesitated, caught up in her head, as Trixie looked at her to speak again.

"Ah, yes, Nurse Franklin is absolutely right. It's not healthy to keep stress built up. There's not enough room, our brains are only small things after all."

"Speak for yourself!" quipped a woman sat in one of the further rows. The women listening erupted in to laughter. Trixie and Val joined them, before starting to speak again once the women had settled.

"Well, one way you can get rid of this extra stress is through venting. Getting rid of whatever is on your mind, either verbally, or by writing it down." Val continued her speech.

"I don't want anyone reading it. Rather keep it all in." Piped up another young woman, closer to the front this time.

"That's the beauty of it, Mrs Marsden. Once it's written you can throw it away, or if it helps, burn it."

"Safely, of course." Trixie interjected with a cheeky smile. "No more burns on the district round, please." 

Another laugh from the crowd.

"Sister Frances is going to hand you all some paper. Write down one thing thats bothering you, then chuck it in our bin. No prying eyes, guides honour." Val continued, watching the smiling young nun passing pen and paper between the rows. 

After a few moments, the women had finished and Sister Frances headed back around with the wastepaper basket. To show an example, Trixie and Val had taken part too, writing one thing apiece that bothered them. The women dispersed soon after, leaving Sister Frances, Trixie, and Val to clean up.

"I reckon that went well." Val sighed im relief, smiling now.

"Agreed. You'd make a good nurse one day." Trixie smiled, turning to head to the kitchen. Sister Frances was stacking chairs, Val left alone at the front. Taking a step, something caught underfoot. As she picked it up from the ground, she saw it was a piece of paper. She couldn't help but read it, it was face up after all. Her heart sank as she saw the loopy, elegant writing with a cute doodle heart beside it. 

"I'm in love with my best friend. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to ffion my loyal fellow valetrix shipper and grace for being the fastest reader ever


	4. bothered.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres tension. a lot of it.

"Is something the matter, Valerie precious?" Lucille asked softly, looking across the table at her friend who was clearly out of sorts. The pale brunette had her head resting on her hand, the other hand holding a fork as she stabbed aimlessly at lettuce and tomatoes. 

Her head jerked up, a deer in headlights, suddenly violently aware of multiple sets of eyes on her. 

"Yeah, just tired, chick." She shrugged, not really convincing anyone. Trixie shot her a concerned look, as did Phyllis. Whatever was going through their minds, as well as anyone elses, was being left unsaid. 

"Nurse Franklin, Nurse Dyer, how was the talk earlier? I've heard endless praise for you both." Sister Julienne said, diverting the conversation slightly.

"I'd say it was a success, wouldn't you, Valerie?" the blonde answered, eyes moving to the other woman.

"Yes, I would. I think it went well." Val answered, shaking off whatever was wrong. Sister Julienne smiled at her from the end of the table, clearly bursting with pride for her two young midwives.

"I think it's wonderful. Back home, we never talked about things like that. I think it's very important, though." Lucille added, her bright smile warming Val through to the core.

"I second that. People go their entire lives thinking they're the only ones feeling down and stressed, and it does nobody any good." Phyllis responded, placing down her knife and fork as Sister Frances and Sister Monica Joan entered with the tea tray.

"I find it's always better to be open about things." said Trixie, reaching for a mug. 

"Luckily, that was the idea." Val replied somewhat sharply, tilting her head to the side slightly, accepting the teapot from Lucille across the table. There was a sense of a change in atmosphere, but if anyone felt it they didn't comment on it. It was simply there, unspoken. 

\--

It was later, as Valerie sat alone outside, her fourth or fifth cigarette burning bright amber against dark sky, that Sister Julienne carefully approached the midwife as she sat on the bench, alone and wrapped up in her thoughts.

"May I sit, my dear?" The older nuns voice was warm and soft. Valerie nodded. In the hand that wasn't bent at the elbow, holding the lit cigarette as dark smoke twirled upwards into the sky, Valerie held the scrap of paper from earlier. 

She had twirled it over and over between slim fingers, reading the inscription endlessly. It was Trixie's writing, there was no doubting that- she'd received enough carefully and lovingly signed birthday and Christmas cards, watched the blonde sign enough papers, to know the lively yet composed font.

"Something's troubling your mind. I can tell." Sister Julienne spoke, quietly as not to seem as though she was prying. Valerie took a drag, before respectfully holding the cigarette as far from the nun as she could without cramping. The brunette midwife sighed, shaking her head.

"Even if I could tell you, Sister, I don't know where I'd start." Val said, looking to her right where the nun sat, their eyes meeting for a moment, compassion and understanding radiating from the older woman. 

"You can tell me anything, Nurse Dyer. I'm not here to place judgement, no matter the circumstance." Sister Julienne was soft and reassuring, turning her eye to the paper still twirling round Val's slim fingers. Hesitating for only a moment, the young midwife passed the slip to the older nun, who read it intently. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

"The writing is familiar, yet I don't think I can place its owner." The nun said, gently. 

"It's owner is in the kitchen now." Valerie said, peering through a window at the far side of where they sat. She could make out the figure of the blonde, as well as three more figures that belonged to a nun and two other midwives.

"Nurse Franklin? Are you sure?" asked the nun, softly as not to startle Val. Val nodded slowly, hands beginning to tremble. Panic hit her in the depth of her chest. 

She had outed Trixie, whether she meant to or not. 

Sister Julienne noted the change in tension, grabbing one of Val's shakey hands in her own still one. 

"There's no need for you to worry, my dear. I can promise you that." Still holding Val's hand, the nun gave it a comforting squeeze, as their eyes met. Val's body softened with the maternal energy, relieved she could talk to somebody, and someone she loved and admired at that.

"Have you spoken to Nurse Franklin?" asked the nun after a brief silence. Val shook her head sadly.

"Are you going to?" came another question.

"I don't know, Sister. I wasn't even meant to see this." Val replied, holding the paper up lazily between two fingers. Sister Julienne nodded.

"I see. Sometimes, it is better to let things come and go as they please. Don't force it, after all, you can't help who you fall in love with, my dear." answered Sister Julienne, a twinkle behind wise blue eyes. 

"In my time running Nonnatus House, I have seen romance blossom, and I have seen it crumble. There's no stopping either, although you can help it." Sister Julienne's tone was calm and knowing.

She let go of Val's hand, giving it one last sympathetic squeeze. The midwife watched as the nun rose, heading back towards Nonnatus, leaving Val sat in the ever growing dark. 

\--

"Did Valerie seem angry at me earlier?" The blonde posed the question, sitting cross legged on the end of Lucille's bed, watching as Phyllis sat on the opposite mattress scanning a Spanish vocab book. Lucille sat against her headboard, knitting a scarf of bright colours. 

"A little vexed perhaps, but not at you specifically. Why do you ask, lass?" replied Phyllis, looking up from her book. Trixie shrugged.

"She just seemed a little cold." came the reply, the blonde absentmindedly running a finger around the rim of her half empty lemonade. "Since the talk, she's just been.. off." The midwife added, looking between the two other women.

"She has a lot on her mind, I suppose." Lucille shrugged, making eye contact, brown against blue. Trixie smiled weakly, looking down into her glass. She sighed deeply, feeling tears prick at her eyes. It was then that she stood, not really addressing the pair,

"I'm going to bed. Night."


	5. forehead kisses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> val reminisces, and its no good.

"I'll be your mum. Just until the morning." 

Val's voice was soft and nurturing, a gentle hand running through the lads sweaty, tangled mop of curls. A fatal wound, anyone could tell, but she wanted him to feel reassured, doing anything in her power to ensure it. 

His legs no longer worked, blood caked across his entire body, voice working in gasps and cracks, crying out for the one person he couldn't be further from.

"Promise?" came the whimper from the young boy, peering up at Val through glassy hazel eyes. 

Looking back down,at him, a careful hand still stroking his hair, the other locked in his, she smiled, nodding gently. Valerie Dyer never broke a promise.

"Promise." 

The brunette nurse sat with him for hours, knelt beside the cot, ignoring the numbness in her legs as she did so. Her hand never left his, her other only leaving his hair to wipe tears or beading sweat.

It was beginning to lighten outside, gunfire sparse. Outside the tent, birds were whistling their tune, unburdened by their surroundings.

"Can you hear that, Daniel? They're singing for you, chick." 

There was no response from the boy. Val placed his hand over his chest, closing empty eyes and planting a tender kiss to his still warm forehead. 

She recalled the sharp, metallic taste his blood left behind on her lips as she stood emotionless, watching them take him away.

\---

Val awoke with a start, sweat beading over her pale forehead. Rubbing her eyes, trying to rid herself of the boys face that was currently burnt into her vision, she looked to the side. 

Trixie still slept peacefully, her chest rising and falling rhythmically. Val watched her for a moment, eyes completely transfixed. 

God, she really is beautiful.

Val sighed, settling back into the soft pillows. There was no way she'd get back off now, not that she was really keen to. 

Her eyes drifted to her roommate again- following the soft, bottle blonde strands falling out of her scarf and rollers, her delicate manicured hand resting on the pillow beside her, long lashes framing peaceful, closed eyes. 

Val caught herself in the moment this time, exclaiming aloud to herself, shaking her head vigorously.

"No Dyer, we're not going there." She uttered to herself, groggily swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Her head pounded and she pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead, groaning. 

\---

Clinic was, undoubtedly, the busiest day for all of Nonnatus. Monica Joan relished at the chance to leave the house, the other midwives and nuns set up with a heavy schedule each. Each woman rushed about, seemingly set about with multiple tasks at once, seeing to each mother, baby and toddler.

Shelagh was seeing to a woman inquiring about milk tokens when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning, she saw Trixie, a worried look painted on her face like rouge. 

"Shelagh, does Valerie look.. off.. to you?" Inquired the young midwife, gesturing to the brunette who was busying herself at the scales with Doctor Turner.

"A little pale, perhaps, but she's always been fair." Shelagh answered honestly, her Scottish lilt offering slight reassurance.

"I suppose. I just don't think she slept much, if at all. I'd hate to see her get ill." Trixie replied, watching Val at work. The blonde turned, seeing Shelagh's thin brows raised.

"It would leave us dreadfully short staffed, Shelagh! I don't know what you're thinking." Trixie said huffily, collecting her clipboard and flouncing off. 

It was a short while after that it happened. Mid way through lifting a baby from the scales, Doctor Turner found the bundle thrust into his arms.

He had barely had time to question before Val's knees buckled beneath her, leaving her lying still on the ground. Patrick handed baby back to mother, shouting for any available help and clearing the space. Help came in the form of Trixie, running from her post in the kitchen, heart in her throat upon seeing Valerie laying still on the ground. 

\---

Val's eyes opened groggily, her mouth dry and her head heavy. She hadn't been on the sofa the last she remembered. A weight suddenly made the sofa cushions droop, seeing a blonde figure holding a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other. 

"You're at Fred's, before you ask. He carried you across so you could rest." Trixie tipped two small white tablets onto her hand, passing them to Val and helping her drink. Val raised only slightly, dropping her head back onto the cushions once the pills were gone.

"I imagine your head's sore. You got quite the bump when you fell, poor sweetie." The blonde placed the bottle in her pocket and the glass onto the table beside them, holding a hand to Val's forehead. The brunette inhaled sharply as Trixie brushed the purple spot on her hairline. 

"Sorry, sweetheart. You gave us all quite a fright. Did you sleep last night? Drunk enough water? Breakfast?"

Val didn't answer, instead lacing her fingers with Trixie's, holding her hand gently and with all the strength she could muster. They locked eyes for a minute, before Trixie started again. Val cut her off with a shake of her head, her voice weak.

"My turn." She said, clearing her throat softly. "I've wanted to talk for a few days now. Just us." Immediately, Trixie's heart was thumping, so badly that in the pauses Val took to recollect herself, it could be heard ever so faintly.

"What about?" Trixie asked, softly, the brunette's slender fingers still locked with her own.

"Us, I suppose." Val continued. "I know. I wasn't meant to know, I'm sorry for that, but-" 

The brunette trailed off as she saw Trixie's breathing shallow ever so slightly. 

The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, before opening them again, not realising Val had seen her. Saying nothing, Trixie bent down, lovingly placing a gentle, tender kiss on Val's forehead, making sure to avoid the angry purple bump.

"Rest now, sweetie. I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

And with that, she left.


	6. close.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally talk!

Val awoke again, not even knowing she had drifted off, the familiar aroma of cigarettes and Dior hitting her instantly. The small clock on the bedside table alerted her to the fact that it was almost 5pm, her heart sinking as she sat up. As she did so, she was not met with the tight constriction of her powder blue uniform, instead she was wrapped in silky blue pyjamas that cooled her skin as they clung to it. Taking a deep breath, the scent of Camay and talc hit her all at once, bringing a smile to her face. 

With a slight click, the door opened, Trixie appearing as it did so. There was a teacup carefully placed upon a saucer in her hand and she closed the door gently behind her.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" asked the blonde, crossing the room and sitting on the middle of her bed, just beside where her legs were in the comforter. Val took the tea as it was offered to her, placing it on the bedside table. Although cool and comforting, the silk hung awkwardly and Val adjusted it around her shoulders.

"Sorry about that. We couldn't find yours and we couldn't bear to wake you." Trixie was comforting and gentle, holding the back of her slightly cold hand to Val's warm forehead, being wary to avoid her unfortunate head injury.

"You're cooling off, thankfully." The blonde said. The pair sat in silence for a minute.

"Thank you, Trix. For everything." Val said, her voice still quiet and tired.

"I'm a nurse, sweetie. It's what they pay me for." Trixie's hand strayed, taking ahold of one of Val's. Their fingers locked, finding perfect harmony in each other, as if they were made to be interlinked.

"Well, yeah, course." Val shrugged. Trixie began again.

"I hate to bring it up when you're like this, but-" She paused, seeming to look for the right words, unusual for the well spoken midwife.

"When you said that you knew, what exactly did you mean? Because I have an idea, but-" The blonde trailed off, looking down at her lap. 

"The other day. I saw the slip you put in. I didn't mean to, I promise, I didn't." Val was nigh on rambling at this point, her mind racing, on par with her heart. 

"Lie with me, Trix." came the words.

Val moved over, making room for the blonde. Trixie let herself fall next to Val, lying on her side so that she was looking into Val's weary eyes. Their hands locked again, warmth radiating from every cell in both bodies. 

"You feel it too, don't you?" The question was a big one, it came with a lot of weight, but Val nodded, wordlessly. Trixie sighed shakily. There was no going back and both women were well aware of it. At least, no going back to normal. They either let it take flight, at risk but with great promise, or stop it at the starting blocks. Neither wanted the latter, with fear of a cracked and broken relationship between each of them.

"How long have you known?" Val asked after a minutes silence. Trixie brushed Val's fringe from her eyes with a single, soft finger. 

"A long time. Almost as long as I've known you." Trixie let a single tear slip down her face, letting it roll sideways and soak into Val's laquer scented pillow. Val nodded, squeezing Trixie's hand.

"It's gonna be hard, Trix." The brunette said after another drawn out pause.

"I know that. That's why I need to know you feel the same." Trixie's tone was desperate, verging on pleading, as she looked longingly into the blue eyes looking right back at her. 

"I do, Trix." It seemed as though Val had more to say, but she simply took a deep breath, sighing it back in. 

A knock at the door.

Trixie bolted upright, crossing the room with poised elegance as if she hadn't been lying next to her roomate, closer than friends would or should. Opening the door, Lucille was revealed, peering her head round the oak. 

"I just wanted to check on our patient." She said with a bright smile, looking at Val who lay in her bed with more than enough room at her right side. 

"Feeling better." Val said, sitting up and smiling at the young nurse in the doorway. 

"Especially with her own branch of nurses running after her!" Trixie said with a giggle, amused at Val's mock offended expression. 

"The blonde one's a bit gobby though, makes a good cuppa I suppose." Val retorted, not one to let Trixie's remarks get past her, even if she was under the weather.

"I'll pass that onto the matron." Lucille chimed, giggling as she did so. "I'll leave you to it, then. If you need anything, give us a shout." She added, closing the door with a soft click. The pair heard her padding down the hallway, smiling from ear to ear at each other. Val looked up at Trixie, holding her arms open with a longing look. Trixie had since turned, looking into the mirror, smoothing her skirt and adjusting bobby pins. Outside and down the stairs, the phone rang in its familiar drill. Trixie huffed.

"I'm first on call tonight, I'm afraid, sweetie." She added, seeming suddenly slightly panicked and flustered. Grabbing her cardigan from where it lay over her bed frame, she turned to her roomate as she slipped it on.

"Tomorrow." She said, adjusting her collar and slipping out of the room.

Val sat there in silence for a moment, hearing Trixie's defined and poised steps trail off down the hallway. Her heart was swelling as she thought of the blonde, pressed to her body, hands linked and hearts synced. She decided to venture out in search of something to eat, pulling on a pair of patterned trousers and a plain black tshirt. 

She slipped on a simple cardigan, the first one she saw to pick up, wrapping it around herself, not noting that the aroma it gave off was very clearly Sobranie's and Dior. 

She padded downstairs, entering the kitchen to see Lucille and Phyllis at the table. They looked up at the nurses entrance, smiling warmly. Phyllis pulled the chair beside her out from the table, pouring a steaming cup of tea and sliding it across as the brunette took a seat. 

"Hungry, lass?" asked Phyllis, preparing to stand. 

"Positively famished. What's left?" Val returned, stirring sugar into her tea.

"A few ham and cheese sandwiches, a cornish pasty and a slice of carrot cake." Lucille recited, knowing what had been set aside as the key organiser of Val's leftovers.

"Bon appetit." Val said with a smile, taking the plate from Lucille and sinking her teeth into a sandwich. Lucille tilted her head at Val, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"That's not your cardigan, is it? I wouldn't have thought it was your style." She asked gently, observing the blue number with the sequins sewn across the breast pocket. She was absolutely right. It wasn't Val's style. It was Trixie's style, though.

"Must have picked Trixie's up by mistake. She's forever leaving her clothes around." Replied the brunette, taking a perhaps too big bite of a sandwich, hoping to fend off any other queries. 

"Easily done, I suppose." Phyllis said, not looking up from her newspaper. Val nodded, looking down at her food, saying absolutely nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to ffion, my professional hype girl xoxo


End file.
